Why we aren’t finding out our Baby’s Gender

As soon as we announced our first and second pregnancy, almost immediately the next question is “When are you finding out the gender?”  My husband and I always seems to catch the un-expected by surprise when we tell them that we aren’t finding out the gender.  We usually get one of two responses, “that’s wonderful” or “why would you do that?”  For everyone, once and for all, I am sharing with you why we aren’t finding out our baby’s gender.

Photo Credit: Jeanna Swazuk
1. Why Does it Matter

Boy or Girl, does it really matter?

For the 1st 6 months of life all they do is poop, sleep and eat anyways, so why does it even matter if it’s a boy or girl doing the pooping, sleeping or eating.  And if it’s one gender or the other am I going to love them more — of course not!

To me, gender doesn’t really matter.  Whatever I have, boy or girl, I know that I will love or care for them the same way, so why bother finding out 20 weeks early.

2. We Wanted to be Surprised

We live in an instantaneous world.  Hell, if my friends don’t text me back with plans I worry that it’s the end of the world.  There are very few surprises in life, and I wanted my child’s gender to be one of them.

From my first child’s birth, I can promise you, nothing is more wonderful than hearing and seeing your child for the first time and learning their gender.  Sure, I would be surprised in the ultrasound but holding your baby and learning their gender for the first time is magical.

3. Gender Disappointment

I truly believe that no matter my child’s gender I would not be disappointed, other people in our family, not so much.

Before my child is born, I don’t want to deal with gender disappointment from anyone.  Sure they may be just as disappointed when my child is born, but I like to think that the birth of my beautiful child, no matter the gender, would override any disappointment.

4. People Hate it!

Random people to close family HATED we weren’t finding out what we were having.  “How can you do it?” was normally their response.  People couldn’t fathom that we were waiting.  My husband and I found it to be hilarious.

People for centuries did not find out what they were having, so why is it so crazy to think that we choose to wait until our child’s birth to find out their gender.

5. It was Fun Messing with People

Not only did people hate it (see 5 above), but it was fun messing people.  Once people found out I didn’t know what we were having it turned into a game of “20 Questions”.

What are you craving?  You’re carrying low, it must be a boy.  Let’s check my Chinese gender calendar.

The games went on and on.

It was fun messing with people and playing all the old wives tales.

6. People didn’t Buy us Baby clothes

We got EVERYTHING off our registry.  Believe me, I was shocked too.

Every bottle, blanket, crib sheet, diaper and toy, we got it ALL.  Since people did not know what we were having, no one bought us a single piece of clothing.  It was amazing!

In fact, for my first child, we didn’t have to buy diapers till she was 18 months old.  It has been fabulous!

7. I’m Very Prepared for Baby #2

When ever I told people we aren’t finding out the gender, I usually got this comment “I could never do that, I am too much of a planner.”

First, thank you for insinuating that I am not planning for my child.

In fact, if you check out #6, we got everything we wanted off our registry.  The nursery is all gender neutral and we are good to go.

With #2 on the way, I appreciate the gender neutral room more than you would know.  I literally have to move my daughter out of the nursery, wash the sheets and the new baby is good to go!

8. For 9 months I got to Just Enjoy My Baby
Photo Credit: Jeanna Swazuk

I loved that while my child is in my belly, they aren’t a little girl waiting to come out loving princesses or a little boy ready to cheer on Daddy’s favorite football team, but for these 9 months they were purely just my baby.

It was beautiful to just learn their personalities and to bond with them as just my baby, not my daughter or son, but just my baby.  It was wonderful to bond with my baby and cherish those moments together in my stomach.

Our baby has their whole life to be a boy or a girl, but for 9 months, they are just my baby.

  1. Baby Castan On Board

    December 1, 2017 at 10:00 pm

    Congratulations! I think these are great reasons to keep the gender a surprise.


      December 5, 2017 at 2:41 am

      Thanks! We are so excited to meet our new addition in 20 weeks!

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