This Mom is Too Old For Bachelorette Parties!

Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a good bachelorette party.  And when my baby sister go engaged, I couldn’t wait to plan hers.

But the moment the night kicked off, I was quickly reminded that I’m no longer in my early to mid-twenties and that as a 30 year old mom of two, I definitely CAN’T hang anymore.  And while I had a blast celebrating my sister, you won’t catch me running off to a another bachelorette party in the near future!

Because, this Mom is to old for a bachlorette party.

5.) Shots shots shots shots shots EVERYBODY!

Yeah, no.

In my twenties, I was all about shots. In fact, I was know for ordering them at a bar.  Back then I thought that they actually tasted kind of good.

Now the thought of taking shots makes me want to gag. And when I remember how gross they make me feel the next day, it’s no wonder I was only able to take a sip before handing it off to one of the twenty-something’s in our group.

4.) Late nights

In my twenties, I could hang with the best of them. I would party all night and then get up bright and early for school or work.

But now at 30, with a two year old and a six month old, I’m hurting if I stay up much past 10! At the bachelorette party, I said something about heading back at 11 and I think everyone thought I was joking! But I hung in there until the bitter end and just paid for it dearly when my babies were up bright and early the next morning.

Crowd in Front of People Playing Musical Instrument during Nighttime

3.) I can’t woo, can you?

No, that is not a title to a Dr. Seuss Book, but a refrence to girls that “Woo”.

I’m too old to be a fabled woo girl (How I Met Your Mother, anyone?) And bachelorette parties are famous for their wooing.  Every woo let out seemed to remind me of how far from my woo days I’ve come.

2.) Lingerie

The lingerie shower before the party made me weep inwardly for my pre-kid days when I would wear pretty, lacy nighties to bed.  I too remember the excitement of opening the scandalous lingerie at my bachelorette party and fill with excitement at the thought of putting on the lacy outfit for my husband on our honeymoon.

Now I pass out in old fraternity t-shirts covered in spit up and breast milk.  Sexy, right?

Image result for penis straw1.) Penis paraphernalia

I remember when I was a young bride and all the penis paraphernalia that makes a show at bachelorette parties was risque and exciting.

Everything from penis straws, crowns and cookies make an appearance.  My cousins even had a contraption called a dong bong!

Now, after six years of marriage, two kids and a toddler boy who I have to regularly remind not to play with his penis, it’s more gross than scandalous.


No matter how old I feel, or how tired I am as a Mom, I love my sister and friends and will never miss anything special for them, including bachelorette parties.  Although I can’t hang like I used to, I remember the excitement of being a bride and am happy to share in these special moments with the people I love.

But, next time there is a bachelorette party, I’m suggesting a spa day instead.


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